Raising Successful Children

View from the Windowseat: Raising the prestige of the teaching profession: can we do it?

2011-03-23T11:12:00.000+05:30

View from the Windowseat: Raising the prestige of the teaching profession: can we do it?

INTEGRITY OF CHARACTER + CREATIVE THINKING = SUSTAINED SUCCESS IN LIFE.

2011-03-10T20:29:00.000+05:30

INTEGRITY OF CHARACTER + CREATIVE THINKING = SUSTAINED SUCCESS IN LIFE.

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2008-02-06T21:36:00.000+05:30

INTEGRITY OF CHARACTER + CREATIVE THINKING = SUSTAINED SUCCESS IN LIFE.

7 Sureshot Ways to Kill Your Childs' Creative Thinking.

1. Tell your child often- ' Why do you want to be different?Why can't you be like Mr XYZ's son/daughter?

2. When your child faces a problem, instantly give a solution to her with the words-"Sweetheart there is only on way out of this problem and that I can tell you and here it is.................

3.When your child talks of something you have not heard Mr XYZ's son's talking, or in the magazines or in the newspapers then please arch your eyebrows to the highest point and do not utter a word or try another method: that is frown(as many creases as possible) and ask matter of factly"How could you think of such a thing? I have not heard of it before.

4.If your child talks of something you have a faint idea then do not apply step 3. in such a scenario simply ask-Has anyone of your friends done this before..... No.... then why do you want to do this darling when it has not been done before?

5.When your child is thoughtful, then do not encourage him to talk for it may complicate matters but gently motivate the child to stop wasting time on thinking and remind him to finish off the task quickly and done away with.

6.Keep on giving gentle reminders to your child- "Darling, do whatever you want to but do not make mistakes-they are so messy."

7. Lastly let me share something which should be used sparingly but is very potent-"I have told you once it can't be done, and that's FINAL and I don't see any logic in telling you why I feel it can't be done.."

Believe me all these seven strategies alone or in combination are damn powerful.

2007-09-30T11:42:00.000+05:30

INTEGRITY OF CHARACTER + CREATIVE THINKING = SUSTAINED SUCCESS IN LIFE.

It's nice that my blog can now be seen again, for sometime it had just disappeared.

Whenever I talk to students, that what kind of thinking is required to succeed in life - invariably the answer is positive thinking. Positive thinking is important, no doubt whatsoever, but what is the kind of thinking that leads you to become positive in your approach. Are we positive for the sake of being positive? or we remain positive because we see possibilities in every down side that we face. I feel if one practices creative thinking or lateral thinking, then the greatest by- product of that thinking is that lot of positivity creeps in your thinking. This thinking creeps in by default.

One of the greatest tools of lateral thinking is, challenging your mind to think of a certain number of alternatives for any little/big challenge that we face, and the second part of this exercise is to suspend judgement for sometime. Now let's say- You have to decide What birthday present to buy for your mother; then practising lateral thinking techniques you challenge your self to think of ten options as presents, jot down these ten options, now apply your judgement as to which of these ten options will be loved by your mother and what you can afford. The key is, to purely think when you think, and apply judgement only after you have reached the required number - in this case ten options. If we think and judge at the same time then our poor mind gets confused and just stops thinking of options.

This exercise is so much fun, and so productive that once you start using it, you get addicted to it, and cannot help using it for all kinds of things, including ten befitting replies for a bullying peer who leaves no opportunity to put you down in public. If you feel you are equipped to handle these small/ big challenges by your thinking then you are a positive thinker aren't you, and success is always waiting in the horizon.

2007-09-07T23:53:00.001+05:30

Mark Twain's comments and quips are unforgettable for their sharp humour,insight and simplicity. Here are a few of them on education, parenting and success.

" We should be careful to get out of an experience only the wisdom that is in it- and stop there; lest we be like the cat that sat down on a hot stove lid, and would never sit on it again, and that is well; but also she will never sit down on a cold one anymore."

"Let us be thankful of fools. But for them the rest of us could not succeed."

"Education: that which reveals to the wise and conceals from the stupid, that vast limit of their knowledge."

"My mother had a great deal of trouble with me, but I think she enjoyed it."

Hope you enjoyed Mark Twain's quips, do you have some more interesting ones?

2007-09-07T23:09:00.000+05:30

Why are we teachers
The guides,The mentors
lose direction so often
and treat our cares
as if they are a burden colossus.

'Sir I haven't understood this'
invites derision and ghastly epithets,
or it is explained again
seasoned with favour and anger hidden.

Many come to the class
ready to fill their wards
with reading from the book
and avoiding explanation by hook or by crook.
'You dud's' you don't even know this!
You don't deserve to be in a class like this!

The work is given with lot of flair
Adding to the list of child's despair
Some understand it,many don't
Wondering how to get past this hurdle
Without feathers getting ruffled

The papers are submitted for correction
with plenty of apprehension
and imagining the worst of repercussions.
But lo and behold
they get the papers back
without any marks blue or black.

Once in a long while
A teacher comes along
Who treats the child
as a potential source
of God's light
And nurtures his wards
like rain falling on earth parched
sowing seeds of possibilities endless.

What do you feel about these lines? Do send in your comments and also if you could suggest a suitable title to these rumblings.

2007-09-04T23:35:00.000+05:30

*Isn't it strange, parents often talk about the younger generation, as if they didn't have anything to do with it........

*PARENTS DICTIONARY OF MEANINGS

Full name-What you call your child when you are mad at him.

Grand parents- The people who think your children are wonderful even though they are sure you are not raising them right.

Independent- How we want our children, as long as they do everything that we say.

Puddle- A small body of water that draws other small bodies into it wearing dry shoes.

Show off-A child who is more talented than your child.

2007-09-03T23:12:00.000+05:30

INTEGRITY OF CHARACTER + CREATIVE THINKING = SUSTAINED SUCCESS IN LIFE.

THE OTHER DAY A VERY SUCCESSFUL businessman was asked, "What has been the greatest mistake of your life?" He said-"The greatest mistake has been not making enough mistakes". I feel he put forth the secret of his success very beautifully. Think back on all the mistakes you have made in life, haven't they all taught so many things, so many lessons that no book, no advice could have done. Moreover the lessons learnt from making mistakes are so durable they do not leave you, ever.

But it is so surprising that, that school is one place where mistakes are constantly abhorred. Compulsive mistakes, and the same mistakes repeated again and again are a different cup of tea altogether, but parents and teachers should think twice of all the advantages before admonishing children not to make any mistakes.Another advantage - it teaches the child how to handle unpleasant situations, and how to operate when you are no longer in a structured environment or you are faced with unexpected outcomes.

Any more advantages of making mistakes? Looking forward to your bricks,bats, views,comments and experiences.

2007-08-31T19:44:00.000+05:30

INTEGRITY OF CHARACTER + CREATIVE THINKING = SUSTAINED SUCCESS IN LIFE.

"Oh! Ayesha is very creative, she thinks of such beautiful ideas in no time."
"Ask Sam about this problem, He can give you some really wonderful ideas to solve this problem."
We all want to be like Ayesha and Sam, and we want our children to be as quick thinking and resourceful. Are Ayeshas and Sams have this special gift from God or the muse is always sitting on their shoulder,whispering such insights into their ears.
Maybe they are gifted, or maybe they learn much more from their environment than others do.It's my estimate that most of us barely see 20% of what's around us. We see what we want to see, or we see what we already know, to put it in cliche' terms - we do not see the complete picture. The other day in ninth grade I showed children a picture of a minor celebrity with few other common people doing relief work in Tsunami affected village of Tamil Nadu. It was an old picture, and was shown to them for 30 seconds.When asked what did you see in the picture, most of the children happily shouted the name of the celebrity, some mentioned there were a few other people around too, and only two children could remember a few other details.Bulk of the class could not recollect any detail about the background or the other people.

This is how we see most things around us, we see only part of the picture, and the moment we see something familiar, our mind just shuts, off and we stop seeing the rest.Probably Ayesha and Sam are seeing complete pictures around them and are learning much more from the same world around us. After all what we see and experience around us is the raw material for our thinking and ideas.

Seeing the complete picture can be played as a game with children in school or at home. If the children learn to observe better, they will be learners for life. All successful businessmen, and leaders in any field have this singular quality in common, their power of observation gives them insights and uncommon common sense which makes them winners for life.

2007-08-28T20:10:00.000+05:30

INTEGRITY OF CHARACTER + CREATIVE THINKING = SUSTAINED SUCCESS IN LIFE.

I TALKED ABOUT CERTAIN comments of a school headmaster regarding honesty in my post on 26 August , I'm still waiting for your comments; in the meantime I feel on this issue that we cannot talk about basic values like truth and honesty in such a wishy-washy supposedly 'realistic' way.We cannot afford to give our children such a wet clay of values, to be moulded based on circumstances. Values should be like the rock of Gibraltar. What children face in life, and how this rock of values gets chiseled into a beautiful statue or weathers away ,will depend on what they learn from their mistakes, and the choices they make in life; but the wet clay of values would be of no value. Probably 'real world values' are imparted to children to save them from making mistakes and to shield them from resultant pain.But can there be any growth without pain? Can there be any durable and wholesome learning without the pain of making mistakes and has any learning been as wholesome and as long lasting as learning from mistakes. Should we or can we shield the children from this pain?

2007-08-27T10:22:00.000+05:30

"I wish to thank my parents for making it all possible.......and I wish to thank my children for making it necessary. "

Victor Borque

"I have come to a frightening conclusion that I'am the decisive element in the classroom.It's my daily mood that makes the weather. As a teacher, I possess a tremendous power to make a child's life miserable or joyous. I can be a tool of torture or an instrument of inspiration. I can humiliate or humor, hurt or heal. In all situations it is my response that decides whether a crises will be escalated or de-escalated and a child humanized or de-humanized."

Dr Haim Ginolt

2007-08-25T22:34:00.000+05:30

INTEGRITY OF CHARACTER + CREATIVE THINKING = SUSTAINED SUCCESS IN LIFE.

THE OTHER DAY my friend's sixteen year old daughter, a student of grade eleven came back home,slightly ill at ease and thoughtful. As over refreshments, she was talking about her day in school,she talked about an issue which the students' collectively wanted to publish in the local edition of a national daily, the Principal of the school agreed with the validity of the issue but said, that still the students should refrain from going ahead with their plans, no direct reasons were forthcoming but he ended the meeting with students with a concerned remark-"Children in these times truth is not valued, these days deceit has become part of the social system. You can't have 100% truth."
Perplexing, this remark was for most students.They were aware of corruption and other issues in society but all this coming from their headmaster had left them shaken.
What made the Head master make this remark? Was it that whatever he had achieved in life was on a bedrock, other than truth? Or he started life with Utopian ideas but somewhere he lost it, and wanted his students to be realists?
Would you call him an Educationist, a Broker of values- selling them for profit or convenience or a Realist- what use is utopia in life, or would you use something else to describe him?

Do post in your views- looking forward to them.

2007-08-24T22:35:00.000+05:30

INTEGRITY OF CHARACTER + CREATIVE THINKING = SUSTAINED SUCCESS IN LIFE.

ADVANTAGE TEACHERS

ALL THE YEARS THAT I have spent teaching one interesting phenomenon was that after every Parents Teachers Association meeting most teachers came back to the staff-room, a little defeated and with the comment-'What all can we do?Parents also have to understand their role and responsibilities'. Agreed one hundred percent. Each must perform their role, parents can't take on the role of the teacher and teacher can't take on the mantle of parents.

But over the years I noticed a distinct advantage teachers have over parents in the field of imparting values. Whatever parents preach, they have to live by those words for them to become part of a child's personality, no amount of discourses and enforcements work without you as a parent living those values,under all circumstances but teachers can make an impact by just talking about certain values in the class or pointing them out during the course of a lesson.In this regard third to seventh grade teachers hold tremendous sway over their students,because children at this age install their teachers on a pedestal.

This advantage to teachers is for imparting certain values and confidence enhancing skills, for discipline I think it has to be imbibed by example only.

So do you agree that it is Advantage Teachers!

2007-08-24T10:54:00.000+05:30

Have you noticed, how, if your kids pass exams everyone says they have got their brains from their parents,but if they fail their exams everyone says they are stupid......?

Pat had the reputation of being the most argumentative boy in school. One day the teacher was furious again at being contradicted by him and yelled-'That's just too much from you!Who's the teacher here-you or me?'
'You,sir.'
'Then why are you talking like an idiot?!'

2007-08-23T17:06:00.000+05:30

INTEGRITY OF CHARACTER + CREATIVE THINKING = SUSTAINED SUCCESS IN LIFE.

A BEAUTIFUL LESSON ABOUT how little flaws in integrity of character can lead to ruin is conveyed beautifully by Shakespeare's play Macbeth. It may seem too much of a classic and too Shakespearean (if I may use the term) to appeal to a sizable no: of people, but I'am writing this because it did have a profound effect on eighth grade children, who were studying it as an abridged story as part of their English syllabus.

The point the story made, went home pretty well. Macbeth, the most respected general of his kingdom, loved and respected not only by his peers, the people at large but also by the king himself had one little flaw in his character- he was too ambitious.How did the 'too' tag came before his ambition, probably even Macbeth did not realise it.But this 'too much ambition' made him kill the king, so that he could be king himself.What prompted Macbeth to this dastardly act? Just a thought- If I do this act of murder just once I will achieve my life's aim. Just this once..... but just this once could not stop there. To be secure as a king, he had to murder many other people and all were preceded by the thought- just this time.

His fears pulled him deeper and deeper into the bog of misery and he was held to ransom by the demons of his fears.

Ambition is fine, it propels you forward but when this ambition gets the tag of too much ambition, is when you forget the dividing line between what is ethical and what is not .'Just this once' can be too dangerous a game......

2007-08-23T16:55:00.000+05:30

"I never let my schooling interfere with my education."
-Mark Twain
"It is so curious that physical courage should be so common in the world and moral courage so rare."
-Mark Twain

2007-08-22T21:24:00.000+05:30

INTEGRITY OF CHARACTER + CREATIVE THINKING = SUSTAINED SUCCESS IN LIFE.

YESTERDAY I TALKED ABOUT creative thinking, it is generally assumed that it is inborn- you either have it or you don't. Since I learnt it much later in life, and I was encouraged by the results I think it's like learning cycling, dancing or typing.(Hats off to Edward de Bono's marvellous books specially 'Lateral Thinking').It will be rewarding if we- both parents and teachers take deliberate steps towards inculcating it in ourselves and in the children in our care. So keeping with the current maxim of tips here are five of them for you to start on this exciting journey of endless possibilities.

Allow the children to crib about anything they do not like, but minutes later also ask them what they or others could have done to make the situation congenial for everyone or anything involved in that episode.Encourage them to generate more than one option.
When you go to a public place where service/ambience is good, ask the children what all makes it so interesting and also how it can be made better.
Never reject anything on the grounds that it has not been done before.Doing something different which the child has thought of herself gives the maximum dose of self-confidence. However if you have to say No then do not do it immediately, say it after as much time as you can.
After watching a movie, a daily soap,or after a story-telling session encourage children to think of different endings.
When a child brings any problem/ project to you for discussion,begin the conversation with a cheerful "Let's think of 8 ways of doing/solving it. You may write down the options, but do not judge or comment on any option till the predecided no: of options is reached. Now apply reasoning, judgement to select the most suitable one. You may reject seven out of eight,and some may just make you laugh, but it will train the mind to look beyond obvious solutions and who knows the seven rejected ideas may suddenly prove useful somewhere else in a different set of circumstances. Over a period of time it develops a Never say die attitude'.

Gone are the days when knowledge was power,today and tomorrow belongs to people who can make the most innovative use of their abilities, resources and information available. Look around all movers and shakers at all levels are creative in their thinking.

I' am looking for a bouquet,it may come with a brickbat too. See you...

2007-08-21T20:06:00.000+05:30

CREATIVE THINKING CREATES WINNERS

THE WORD CREATIVE is usually associated with arts and literature, but it actually implies just finding a way. A way where no path seems to exist, a way when there are too many paths to choose from, or even when you have a smooth path but you still enjoy looking for possibilities.The world today offers limitless possibilities and the choice can be baffling and unnerving. However those who have learnt to enjoy and value this game of endless possibilities will come out tops. In short creative thinking has to become an integral part of our education our psyche.

Creative thinking like logical thinking is a way of thinking. Schools peers and elders stress upon logical thinking but either ridicule or ignore creative thinking. Though creative thinking or 'out of the box thinking' is quiet a favourite word used in theory but propagating it, encouraging right thinking habits becomes a different ball game altogether. We can't blame anyone too much for it, because most of us have grown up on a staple diet of logical thinking. Logical thinking is useful, and seems safe but in today's fast changing word, proficiency in these two types of thinking will prove to be a winning combination. To start off we have to learn about creative thinking techniques and of course practising will follow.

What do you feel about it, do write in your comments, feedback and of course slippers or brickbats to use a cliche' term.

DARE TO DARE

2007-08-20T14:28:00.000+05:30

When a group of students were asked at a convocation ceremony that,what has been the most educative experience of their life,surprisingly no one mentioned the degree course they had just completed from that elite institution, but mentioned incidents of their life when they managed to find solutions to problem situations where odds were stacked against them, and it was their sense of dare, quick thinking and equanimity that saved the situation.
Does that ring a bell somewhere? Is your mind also filled with pleasant memories of similar experiences when you found unique solutions (big or small) to the challenges staring at you at your face.

This shows that our emotional sense of well- being comes from meeting challenges big or small head-on. It also comes when we handle our fears at least temporarily with a sense of dare(In crises situation it may be a do or die situation).If we have this thought with ourselves of handling problems as challenges, then I'am sure we can do wonders, literally touch a little star everyday.But, we tend to lose it as we go through life.

The biggest reason is that we fear failure, we fear making mistakes, we want to be very sure of what the outcomes will be, what will others say.These are the kind of fears that prevent us from achieving our true potential, and of course we pass these to our children also.

So how to deal with it? For starters, whenever you are gripped with fear, imagine- what is the worst that can happen?Imagine yourself dealing with it.Reinforce this image, imagine yourself dealing with people's reaction to it, and that you are dealing with it in the most calm manner. Add humour to it if you can. Now also imagine what it would be if you succeeded in what you want to do. Hold the two pictures together, and I'am sure the answer to our fears will be before us and also remember what the wise old man Mark Twain said once"I'am an old man and I have known many troubles, but most of them never happened."